2 Blondes with hammers:
Two blondes with hammers,
Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat
for Humanity house.
Carol, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail,
and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why
are you throwing those nails away?' Carol explained,
'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them
away.'
Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron!
Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other
side of the house.

The blonde who tried to commit suicide:
A blonde hurried into the emergency
room late one night with the tip of her index finger
shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room
doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit
suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered
the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?' 'No, Silly,' the blonde said,
'first I put the gun to my chest, and then I
thought, I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants. I'm not
shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked
the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I
thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth
straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the
mouth.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then
I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is
going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other
ear before I pulled the trigger.

Damage from a hail storm:
A blonde was driving home after a game,
and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was
covered with
dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the
tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the
blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and
started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she
blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her
blonde roommate saw her, and asked, 'What are you doing?'
The first blonde told her how the repairman had
instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all
the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and
said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows
first.'

Two blondes at the drive in:
Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had
gone to see 'Closed for the winter'.