These classifieds actually ran in newspapers - a smile for your day...
>
> FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
> 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
>
> FREE PUPPIES:
> 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
>
> FREE PUPPIES..
> Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
> Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
>
> FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
> Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
> Better be a big reward.
>
> COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
> Also 1 gay bull for sale.
>
> NORDIC TRACK
> $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
>
> GEORGIA PEACHES
> California grown - 89 cents/lb.
>
> JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> Must sell washer and dryer $300.
>
> WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
> Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
>
> And the best one?:
>
> FOR SALE BY OWNER:
> Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
> $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows
> everything.
>
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