Photo on the Night Stand

After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man,
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?'
he nervously asks.

'No, silly,'
she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?'
He continues.
'No, not at all,'
she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?'
he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!'
she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?'
he demands.

She whispers in his ear
'That's me before the surgery.

Medical Distinctions

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed
below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met
by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still
cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the
butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both
ultimately result in death.

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Well this idiot {ME} has done it again.A blooger frien sent me a message telling me that While part of the virus was true it was also outdated! Also the rest about the virus was absolutely NOT true.I apologize to all the people I sent messages to informing them of this virus and to those who read the post. I now have the link to check stuff like this out thanks to the friend who sent me the message.I'm sorry if I alarmed anyone ,it was unintentional believe me.I just did'nt want any of my friends or anyone else to get their computer crashed again I"M truly sorry for this.

URGENT !!)
TWO SUBJECT LINES TO BEWARE OF:

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY. READ AND HEED.

I just verified this with Snopes and it is REAL. ALSO WENT TO TRUTH OR
FICTION AND IT'S on t heir site also.

PLEASE INFORM EVERYONE

Emails with pictures of Osama Bin-Laden hanged are being sent and the
moment that you open these emails your computer will crash and you will
not be able t o fix it!

If you get an email along the lines of "Osama Bin Laden Captured" or
"Osama Hanged", don't ope n the ;attachment.

This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe,
but mainly in the US and Israel

Be considerate & send this warning to whomever you know.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS:

You should be alert during the next days:
Do not open any message with an attached file called "Invitation"
regardless of who sent it.

It is a virus that & nbsp;opens an Olympic Torch which "burns" the whole
hard disc C of your computer.

This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in
his/her contact list, that is why you s hould send this e-mail to all
your contacts.

;
It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus
and open it

If you receive a mail called "invitation", though sent by a friend, do
not open it and shut down your computer immediately.

This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by
Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever.

This virus wa s discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair
yet for this kind of virus.

This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the
vital information is kept.

SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW I just recieved this from a relative so thought I should pass it on to ya all. This is supposedly true so please be alert,my friends. INDIAN

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Subject:* Wise Old Jewish Man

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had
been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for
a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there
he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for
an interview.

'Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

'Morris Fishbien,' he replied.

'Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?'

'For about 60 years.'

'60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?'

'I pray for peace among the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.'

'I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.'

'I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible
adults, and to love their fellow man.'

'How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?'

'Like I'm talking to a phuckin wall!"