You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the U S A ! Amen

AND YOU ARE A TRUE AMERICAN IF YOU THINK THE NATIONAL ANTHEM SHOULD ONLY BE SUNG

IN ENGLISH.



Life is too short for drama & petty things,
so kiss slowly, laugh insanely,
Love truly and forgive quickly

--

It is near the end of the school year and the teacher has already turned in her grades. There is really not much to do. All the kids are restless because they are ready for the summer break.

The teacher says, "The first person to correctly answer each question I ask may leave early." Little Johnny thinks to himself, "Good. I wanna get outta here. I'm smart. I'll answer first." The teacher asks, "Who said 'Four score and seven years ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Susie said "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's right, Susie. You may leave."

Johnny was mad that Susie answered first. The teacher asked, "Who said 'I have a dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Mary said "Martin Luther King." The teacher said, "That's right, Mary. You may leave."

Johnny was even madder that Mary answered first. The teacher asked "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Nancy said "John Kennedy." The teacher said, "That's right, Nancy. You may leave."

Johnny was BOILING MAD that Nancy answered first. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher said "WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny said, "Bill Clinton. May I go now?"

1

Is this scary or what? What were the parents thinking of!

Thought this was kin of cute or maybe scary?

A Newfoundlander, was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty dollars…” she whispers. He’d never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell,it’s only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.

They’re going “at it” for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them . It’s a police officer.
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the Newfoundlander answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.
“Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that light in her face.” says the Newfie