There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.
He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it.
He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr."
After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."

"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral Of The Story: You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an asshole!!

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry hun; I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

One day Peggy sue (a blonde) was walking home passed a contruction area, when three construction workers asked her if she would climb a ladder for $20. She thought to herself happily, "Wow, $20 for just climbing up a ladder!". She said yes, and climbed up the ladder. When she got home she excitedly told her roommate about what happened. Her roommate told her that those contruction workers are tricking her, she told her blonde friend "They just want to look at your panties".

The next day, on her way home again, the construction workers asked her again to climb up a ladder, this time for $50. The blonde agreed again! She climbed up the ladder. When she got home, she told her roommate again. Her roommate said "Girl, I told you they just want to look at your panties!".

The blonde quickly replied, "this time I fooled them, I was not wearing any panties".

After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: “California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high- tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.

One week later, the Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune , a local news paper in Missouri, reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 yards in corn fields near Chillicothe, Ole Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Missouri had already gone wireless.”