T wo couples were playing poker one evening.John accidently dropped some cards on the floor.When he bent down under the table to pick them up he noticed Bill's wife Sue was'nt wearing any uderwear under her dress! Shocked by this,John upon trying to sit back up again,hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.Later,Johnwent to the kitchen to get some refreshments.Bill's wife followed and asked"Did you see anything you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness,John courageously admitted that well indeed he did. She said "Well you can have it but it will cost you $500.00. After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer,John confirms that he is intersted.She tells him since her husband Bill works Friday afternoon and John does'nt,John should be at her house around 2:00 Friday afternoon.When Friday rolls around,John showed up at Bill's house at 2 pm sharp,after paying Sue the 500.00 they went into the bedroom and closed their transaction.John quickly dressed and left.As usual Bill came home from work at 6:00 pm and upon entering the house asked his wife abruptly,"Did John come by the house this afternoon"? With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes,he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,"And did he give you $500.oo?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face."Well yes, in fact he did give me $500.00."Bill with a satisfied look on his face,surprised his wife by saying,"Good I was hoping he did.John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500.00 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back. Now that my friends is a poker player!

You can enjoy a beer all month long.

A frigid beer is good.

A beer doesn’t care when you come.

When a beer goes flat you can toss it.

A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.

A beer never gets a headache.

If you pour a beer right, you always get a good head.

You can share a beer with a friend.

You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer.

A beer is always wet.

You can have a beer in public.

You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

A beer doesn’t get pregnant.

A beer doesn’t have parents.

You can say whatever you want to a beer.

A beer doesn’t care if you are late.

And you can always have several different beers and not feel guilty.

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."

Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.

Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.

"Well," said the other brother, "you said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo."

n some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention-- so he's let go .

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem...."