One day Peggy sue (a blonde) was walking home passed a contruction area, when three construction workers asked her if she would climb a ladder for $20. She thought to herself happily, "Wow, $20 for just climbing up a ladder!". She said yes, and climbed up the ladder. When she got home she excitedly told her roommate about what happened. Her roommate told her that those contruction workers are tricking her, she told her blonde friend "They just want to look at your panties".

The next day, on her way home again, the construction workers asked her again to climb up a ladder, this time for $50. The blonde agreed again! She climbed up the ladder. When she got home, she told her roommate again. Her roommate said "Girl, I told you they just want to look at your panties!".

The blonde quickly replied, "this time I fooled them, I was not wearing any panties".

After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: “California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high- tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.

One week later, the Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune , a local news paper in Missouri, reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 yards in corn fields near Chillicothe, Ole Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Missouri had already gone wireless.”

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the U S A ! Amen

AND YOU ARE A TRUE AMERICAN IF YOU THINK THE NATIONAL ANTHEM SHOULD ONLY BE SUNG

IN ENGLISH.



Life is too short for drama & petty things,
so kiss slowly, laugh insanely,
Love truly and forgive quickly

--

It is near the end of the school year and the teacher has already turned in her grades. There is really not much to do. All the kids are restless because they are ready for the summer break.

The teacher says, "The first person to correctly answer each question I ask may leave early." Little Johnny thinks to himself, "Good. I wanna get outta here. I'm smart. I'll answer first." The teacher asks, "Who said 'Four score and seven years ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Susie said "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's right, Susie. You may leave."

Johnny was mad that Susie answered first. The teacher asked, "Who said 'I have a dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Mary said "Martin Luther King." The teacher said, "That's right, Mary. You may leave."

Johnny was even madder that Mary answered first. The teacher asked "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Nancy said "John Kennedy." The teacher said, "That's right, Nancy. You may leave."

Johnny was BOILING MAD that Nancy answered first. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher said "WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny said, "Bill Clinton. May I go now?"

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Is this scary or what? What were the parents thinking of!